Tag Archives: growing pains

Heaven & Getting what you pay for …


It is my conviction that no one can clean your house best except you. Yet I found myself having to use outside-paid-cleaning services with the hope of carving time and energies for other more important things (such as date-with kids, family game times, a 5years-overdue garage cleaning, a playarea reorganization …. etc.) But when I found myself still partaking in the cleaning along the cleaners – because it just had to be done!- there is a kind of frustration & disappointment that arise from the realization that I still can’t get to those more important things that I wanted to spare time and energies for. I was in one of those frustration when I joined this conversation started between the kids and their dad.

The conversation started off by Nana telling Salihi that soon he will be her driver driving her everywhere she wants to go. Salihi to reply no not everywhere. And daddy to join in saying oh yes, you will be driving her and going on all the errands your mommy sends me to do now for her. 🙂 and Salihi to say no I won’t because I’m not her keeper- to which I answered yes, you will always be her big brother, her keeper and protector even after you die, you’ll still be around as an angel to watch over!! 🙂 – Then the conversation changed to the following:

Salihi: I would really like to know what happens after we are dead

Daddy: we go to heaven

Salihi: me, I want to re-incarnate

Me: re-incarnate? Into what?

Salihi: into a human super-power – OR stay a ghost to nicely haunt people! 🙂

Nana: me, I’m scare of dying…

Daddy: you’re not going to die….

Me: what scares you about dying?

Nana: (and this the best I’ve heard so far…) I don’t want to get STUCK in heaven!!!!

We all burst laughing…..

Daddy: what? You want to go check out hell from time to time? – still laughing… 🙂

I guess we haven’t sold her (yet?) on the idea of heaven!!!! – It was strange hearing her put ‘stuck’ & ‘heaven’ in the same sentence!!!!!

Nana: (not laughing-serious face) no, they say when you die you go to heaven forever and I don’t want to get stuck there for EVER! It’s not funny!

Me: Nana, all of us that are born are going to also die. Yes we are all going to die. The most important thing is to live a nice, happy life always doing the right things, helping others, being kind and honest, doing goods and when you die, heaven is not a place you can be stuck in. Can you be stuck in the world?

Nana: no because it is big and you can go places…

Me: Well heaven is bigger…. so you see, you can’t get stuck


Right in that moment of a conversation that started with a teasing, then turned into a serious little discussion with smiles and laughter, then ended with a reassurance on a fear… I got another confirmation that our-couple life would be pretty stealth and monotone without these 2-little people in it. I found harmony in that thought. A harmony that erased the frustration I was feeling before joining the conversation. Harmony from realizing these are the kind of moments that matter! That are the most important!!!!!!!!! 🙂 These are the moments worth carving out time and energies for. I realize that I was getting what I paid for with the cleaning services, but just failed to see that…. because I was not doing the palpable, countable, or physical things on the list such as cleaning the garage, organizing the playarea…act. Having that non-physical, emotional moment brought that realization home to me. 🙂

The little changes of growing up.


This is a little conversation we have in the car this morning on our way to dropping them off.

Nana: mommy I wish you can take us on a bike ride

Salihi: but we won’t all fit. one person will have to sit in the front and that’s very dangerous

Nana: it isn’t

Salihi: yes it is especially if we crash

Nana: No it is NOT!! because we did it many time in Africa and it wasn’t dangerous!! – little disclosure here: last year during our stay in Lome, Togo, Nana discovered a new found love for “Zemidjan” ( small-bike use as taxi). She would give me grief for choosing a taxi-car over the bike and was thriiilled the few time we rode the zemidjan. – back to our conversation.

Me: (step in to court short another debate of who can back his/her argument best) I love bikes and I use to ride them.

Nana: why did you stop riding them? you don’t like them anymore?

Salihi: when did you stop riding them?

Me: I stop riding long time ago…. before I met daddy. Yes, I still like bikes especially big bikes. As to why I stop riding them? I really can’t say b’cos I really don’t know.  I guess there are certain things that you liked and felt like doing at certain time of your life…. then as you are growing up you just don’t feel like doing them anymore, at least not as much as you used to.

Nana & Salihi -together: really?

Me: yes. You will see.


And my dear children, that’s my little lesson for you for today. – It is okay to accept and be at peace with the changes in your taste, desire, likes, perception, understanding, patience, tolerance, character, … etc as you grow and mature.  Some of these changes are nice and some are painful and tormenting and you must make peace and find harmony in these changes.

I love yous.