We’ve just picked up Salihi from his soccer practice when the following started:
Nana: Salihi does your coach have a son?
Nana: then where is he? because I never see him with his dad then…
Me: why do you want to see him? do you want to marry him? 🙂
Nana: What? NOOOOOOOO!!
Me: tell me so I can go tell him right now that Nana want to marry his son 🙂
Nana: MUMMY!! NO I DON’T WANT TO MARRY HIM OR ANYONE!!!
Me: Ok Nana, no yelling …. so you don’t want to marry at all?
Me: why? why not?
Me: because what?
Nana: because I only love my family like that
Me: like what?
Nana: it’s complicated besides I don’t want to make or sign any contract
Me: hum! sign a contract? what are you talking about?
Nana: you know, marriage is a whole contract between 2 people.
Me: a contract? what does the contract say?
Nana: that they would love each other for ever and a whole lot of other things that I just don’t want to sign up for
Me: like what? what are some of the other things?
Nana: well lots of things. I figure I just have to adopt and I won’t have to do all the things and contract of marriage.
(At this point my mind is blown! and I’m thinking I’m in trouble!! my little girl is forming some idea of marriage that doesn’t sound so appealing!! I want her to become a strong and independent lady…. but I want her to also see the value of the marriage-unit that forms the family! – I’m in trouble!)
Salihi: Now little girl, just how do you know about all of that?
Nana: I read and observe and I know what I want
Salihi: no you don’t. You think you do, but you don’t
Nana: Yes I do, I know I’ll have to adopt a kid if I don’t want to sign a contract with anyone! so you see I know!
Me: so why don’t you want to sign a contract? even with somebody you love?
Nana: I only love you, daddy, Salihi, and my big family like that.
Me: how about you Salihi, will you get married?
Salihi: I think so. only if I really really like someone, yes I will get married.
Me: will you have kids?
Salihi: Well, on that one I don’t know. I don’t think I can get that responsible for a long time
Me: how responsible?
Salihi: responsible to take care of a kid. I don’t think I will be that responsible for a long time. – And Nana, if you ever get drunk you can also have a baby without adopting one or getting married
(at this point, I’m thinking: where did that came from? hum?!?!)
Nana: how? how do you get a baby when you get drunk?
Salihi: well people do stupid thing when they are drunk
Nana: like?…. oh Salihi you are making me think about how babies are made! and Ewww! I don’t want that! that’s why I said I will adopt. No thank you I’m not getting drunk! disgusting!
Me: Salihi where do you get the drunk idea thing from?
Salihi: from book and talks and shows.
Note to self: this conversation sooo needs to be continued!!!-more importantly needs to get Nana’s conception or views on marriage. am I projecting something that she doesn’t want for herself? it’s a bit of contradiction here especially coming from her; considering that she actually sat me and the dad up one day to tell us that she never want to hear us talk about the D-word because as she put it “when parents divorce it is the kids that pay the price, it’s the kids that are miserable between houses & step-parents & new brothers & sisters…” (was a shock but we found out that 2 of her friends were going thru parents divorces and the kids were talking). So I would expect her to be the one to want a child with a daddy & mommy….. not what I’m learning tonight!
On a positive note: none of them is getting drunk anytime soon and my son already gets it that having kids is a huge responsibility……..:-) – Never a dull moment with these 2.