It is my conviction that no one can clean your house best except you. Yet I found myself having to use outside-paid-cleaning services with the hope of carving time and energies for other more important things (such as date-with kids, family game times, a 5years-overdue garage cleaning, a playarea reorganization …. etc.) But when I found myself still partaking in the cleaning along the cleaners – because it just had to be done!- there is a kind of frustration & disappointment that arise from the realization that I still can’t get to those more important things that I wanted to spare time and energies for. I was in one of those frustration when I joined this conversation started between the kids and their dad.
The conversation started off by Nana telling Salihi that soon he will be her driver driving her everywhere she wants to go. Salihi to reply no not everywhere. And daddy to join in saying oh yes, you will be driving her and going on all the errands your mommy sends me to do now for her. 🙂 and Salihi to say no I won’t because I’m not her keeper- to which I answered yes, you will always be her big brother, her keeper and protector even after you die, you’ll still be around as an angel to watch over!! 🙂 – Then the conversation changed to the following:
Salihi: I would really like to know what happens after we are dead
Daddy: we go to heaven
Salihi: me, I want to re-incarnate
Me: re-incarnate? Into what?
Salihi: into a human super-power – OR stay a ghost to nicely haunt people! 🙂
Nana: me, I’m scare of dying…
Daddy: you’re not going to die….
Me: what scares you about dying?
Nana: (and this the best I’ve heard so far…) I don’t want to get STUCK in heaven!!!!
We all burst laughing…..
Daddy: what? You want to go check out hell from time to time? – still laughing… 🙂
I guess we haven’t sold her (yet?) on the idea of heaven!!!! – It was strange hearing her put ‘stuck’ & ‘heaven’ in the same sentence!!!!!
Nana: (not laughing-serious face) no, they say when you die you go to heaven forever and I don’t want to get stuck there for EVER! It’s not funny!
Me: Nana, all of us that are born are going to also die. Yes we are all going to die. The most important thing is to live a nice, happy life always doing the right things, helping others, being kind and honest, doing goods and when you die, heaven is not a place you can be stuck in. Can you be stuck in the world?
Nana: no because it is big and you can go places…
Me: Well heaven is bigger…. so you see, you can’t get stuck
Right in that moment of a conversation that started with a teasing, then turned into a serious little discussion with smiles and laughter, then ended with a reassurance on a fear… I got another confirmation that our-couple life would be pretty stealth and monotone without these 2-little people in it. I found harmony in that thought. A harmony that erased the frustration I was feeling before joining the conversation. Harmony from realizing these are the kind of moments that matter! That are the most important!!!!!!!!! 🙂 These are the moments worth carving out time and energies for. I realize that I was getting what I paid for with the cleaning services, but just failed to see that…. because I was not doing the palpable, countable, or physical things on the list such as cleaning the garage, organizing the playarea…act. Having that non-physical, emotional moment brought that realization home to me. 🙂